In business school, the topics are primarily centered on finance, economics, business law, quantitative methods and the like but not so much on interpersonal relationships. However, as we move up the ladder in the business world, we find that the “people” part of our job is probably the most important, as well as the most challenging, and that our success depends, in large part, on our skills in that area.
As CFOs, we interact with every discipline within the company and have an opportunity to influence the various department heads as well as the chief executive and board members. We must be willing and able to tell these managers and decision makers what they need to know which, sometimes, may not be what they want to hear.
What is a Yes-Person?
A Yes-Person is anyone who has made concessions in his or her ideas or beliefs for the purpose of fitting in, getting ahead, or just staying out of harm’s way. We have all compromised ourselves at one time or another, whether we admit it or not. For some people, it becomes a way of life that can have serious consequences.
The Yes-Person may not be easily recognized. The most subtle example of a Yes-Person is the one who says nothing. By abstention, this person is effectively agreeing with the decision made. Whether he or she views themselves as being in agreement or not, their silence is often inferred by others as agreement. Remaining quiet implies consent.
What is it that motivates people to set aside their real opinions and just go with the flow? Three possible motives need to be considered: 1) Social comfort, 2) Fear and 3) It’s easy.
Social Comfort
There may be an interpretation that agreement is the way to build a closer relationship with business associates or your boss. Misguided desire for camaraderie can also enter the picture if the Yes-Person thinks they may not be considered one of the team or a member of the “inner circle,” if they disagree.
Fear
Fears that surround this phenomenon are loss of face and being outcast by the group, where the dissenter’s opinions are marginalized. If someone disagrees with an idea that is proposed by an associate, they may hesitate to voice their opinion for fear of being chided in front of the group. This can be a reality if that group’s foundation has been built upon a Yes-Person culture from the top down.
The fear of embarrassment is rooted in insecurity. Someone may not have confidence that their opinion, however valid, is considered worthy by others. This must be distinguished from legitimate doubts about the value of a viewpoint which has been formed too quickly or based on insufficient information.
When an environment nurtures blind compliance and takes away the challenge of new ideas that are brought about by the healthy dialogue of differing points of view, someone who doesn’t go along can become an outsider. In business, this can be more than an imagined problem for those experiencing it. You can be left out of the informal and even the formal information network. You start finding out about decisions after they’ve been finalized, or worse, after they’ve already been implemented. It can cripple your performance, as well as the company’s results, by impairing your ability to get things done.
It’s Easy
Regardless of your environment, whether it is an accepting one or not, saying “yes” to someone else’s ideas is a lot easier than thinking of another solution. By agreeing, or going along with the crowd, you stay in your comfort zone. The results of your efforts produced in this zone are ordinary, at best. Why? Because it’s hard to get excited about something in which you do not truly believe.
There’s no
Caveats
Is being a Yes-Person unethical? If you really don’t mean “yes” when you say it, you bet it is. Why? Because you are robbing yourself and others of who you really are, your thought process, and your ability to think on your own. That is what makes us unique, interesting, and above all…real contributors. Many folks can follow a recipe, drive a car or sit in a meeting and nod their head, but only you can think the way you do. If that’s different from others, then it’s better for everyone, because all should reap the benefits of considering different points of view.
When you are the person on the receiving end of unconditional agreement, what is your opinion of that person? Maybe at first, you’re flattered. It seems that you make such great decisions, people agree with you, hands down. That’s good…or is it? Perhaps, after a few more episodes and reflection, you begin to wonder about the person’s sincerity in their agreement with you. You wonder about their motives. Your respect for that person is diminished and you lose faith in either the person’s integrity or their ability. In the end, you both lose.
So it can be with you as well, if you are perceived as a Yes-Person. Have you ever left a meeting and said to yourself, “I wish I’d spoken up…” and then blamed it on the overbearing personality of someone else…or some other equally implausible reason that sounded good at the time? That can be stressful as well as damaging to your self-esteem. Showing your ability to process information and share your conclusions can lead to the development of your own personal power and value to the organization. Handled tactfully, you will win the respect of others, as well as build your self-confidence.
Solutions
One of the things to think about when you are tempted to go along with a decision with which you don’t agree is to think of the ultimate outcome…not the present moment. A little pain now, and it can hurt to disagree, might be well worth the effort.
Tact and diplomacy are key skills to use when swimming against the tide. Brutal honesty may have its place in therapy, but not in every day interaction. It can damage long term relationships and be counter-productive to the change you wish to see.
Sometimes the best approach is to withhold your dissent until you can have a private one-on-one with the person with whom you disagree. Then you would have the chance to present your case in a “problem-solving” mode while allowing your colleague the opportunity (not to change their mind, but) to make a “new decision based on additional information” and thus, save face. This alternative can be useful only if it is still possible for a decision to be reversed or modified. If it’s too late, you’ll be chastised for not coming forward sooner, which is a double whammy – because if you’ve pointed out a potential flaw that is too late to correct, you can become the owner of the problem by default. So, you’d better move quickly.
It is possible to address a conflict of opinion straight-on and “in the moment” if it’s presented as an “offer of alternatives for consideration.” Listed below are some tips for expressing your views in a constructive manner:
- Be positive. Your objective is to provide a benefit. It’s more important to be effective than it is to be “right.”
- Maintain a serious tone. Joking can be interpreted as sarcasm.
- Do your homework. Use facts to substantiate your position. Not being prepared costs credibility.
- Strive for a win-win situation.
The ultimate decision-maker reserves the right to ignore your “offer.” Accept that and feel good about the exchange because you did your best. One critical point to note when someone moves forward with a decision that creates a problem is to avoid the temptation to say, “I told you so.” No one appreciates hearing that and it serves no useful purpose. Let people remember only your feedback and your grace; they will be encouraged to listen to you the next time.
This Yes-Person interaction works both ways. Take an inventory or your own personal style and ask yourself honestly whether you may be encouraging this kind of behavior in your associates. Do you really listen, or do you merely “hear” them? Do your colleagues and subordinates communicate openly with you? You can encourage comity by establishing an atmosphere where you all can “agree to disagree.” Once people feel that they can voice their concerns and opinions without fear of reprisal or humiliation, you can really get somewhere. Applied in a consistent fashion, it will deliver a generous payback.